The Dallas Zoo has become the center of a mystery, after two monkeys disappeared, an endangered vulture died, and a clouded leopard went missing for a few hours.

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I know what you're thinking. "James, what does this have to do with the Binghamton area?" And the answer is absolutely nothing. But you know you can't sit there and look this story in the face without being intrigued.

According to a report from Jamie Stengle for the Associated Press, weird things have been happening at the Dallas Zoo for weeks. On January 13th, a clouded leopard named Nova went missing, and was later found near her habitat. Police say somebody used a cutting tool to free the leopard from her enclosure.

Approximately a week later, an endangered vulture named Pin was found dead, and the zoo said that the vulture had a wound and the death did not appear natural. The vulture was 35 years old and had been with the Dallas Zoo for 33 years.

And on Monday, two emperor tamarin monkeys were taken from the zoo. Authorities found the monkeys in a closet at an abandoned home. There's been speculation that these incidents are connected, and that suspect may have been trying to take the animals to sell them. Lynn Cuny, founder and president of Wildlife Rescue & Rehabilitation, told the associated press "Primates are high-dollar animals in the wildlife pet trade in this country. Everybody that wants one wants one for all the wrong reasons     there's never any good reason to have any wild animal as a pet."

Law enforcement authorities released a photo and video of a person of interest, but no arrests have been made.

And in case anybody was wondering, here's the five animals I would steal from the zoo if it wasn't illegal and I was a selfish monster who steals animals from their homes. And for the record, if any animals do go missing in the Binghamton area this is purely hypothetical and I swear it was not me.

1. An Otter

Third Idea/Unsplash

Otters are adorable because they're basically sea puppies. If I were to adopt (steal) an animal from the zoo, I'm going right to the otter exhibit first. Although I have heard that otters actually smell really bad so that might change.

2. Monkey

Jamie Haughton/Unsplash

You show me a person who's never wished that they had a monkey sidekick for all of life's adventures, and I will show you a liar. Although it could get problematic if the monkey starts to steal all my things as monkey's tend to do.

3. Elephant

Nam Anh/Unsplash

Ok logistically speaking, this might be a tough one. I don't think I'll be able to hide a fully grown elephant from the landlord of my tiny apartment. But elephants are incredibly intelligent so maybe the elephant can help me figure out how to keep this theft on the down low.

4. Fox

Qijin Xu/Unsplash

Much like the monkey, if you tell me that you've never wanted to have a fox as a pet I will call you a liar to your face. I mean look at this fella he's like a tiny orange dog just happy to pose for some pictures.

5. Sloth

Matt Odell/Unsplash

I don't want to say the sloth is my spirit animal. But I also can't say it isn't.

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